TESTIMONY

"I thought there was no way out. Christ showed me there’s always an open door for anyone who wants to change."

FROM GANGS AND ADDICTION TO A NEW LIFE IN CHRIST

Moses quesada

For 23 years, I lived with active addiction. I was also a gang member within the prison system. From a very young age, I was exposed to an environment of parties, drugs, and violence.

I come from a large family. When I was a child, I saw two of my uncles go in and out of prison. At the time, because I was immature, I came to think that lifestyle was admirable. I looked up to them and wanted to grow up to be like them.

Violence was part of my life from my earliest years. My mother also struggled with drug addiction. I remember that when I heard her arguing with someone, I would run and hide. Many times I wanted to cry, but I was so afraid that I learned to keep the pain inside.

I grew up with a lot of fear and insecurity. My father was never around, and I had no father figure to look up to. My mother did her best to be both mother and father to me, but I grew up rebellious, doing whatever I wanted and looking for acceptance in all the wrong places.

At 12 years old, I began getting involved with gangs. Much of my family was connected to that lifestyle, and rather than discouraging me, some encouraged me to follow that path.

It was also during that time that I discovered methamphetamine. I started by snorting it and later smoked it. While other teenagers my age were at school, playing sports, or enjoying a normal youth, my teenage years were marked by drugs, gang violence, and destructive relationships.

I had children when I was very young, but my relationships were deeply affected by drugs and the lifestyle I was living. I faced a domestic violence case involving the mother of my children and ended up in prison.

After some time, I was released, but when I got out, I was depressed and alone. I missed my family and tried to fill that void by retreating once again to drugs and the streets.

I went back to jail for violating my probation. For about a year and a half, I repeatedly went in and out of prison.

My life was falling apart

.

When I was using drugs, I could go several days without sleeping. I reached the point where smoking methamphetamine was no longer enough for me, and I started injecting it directly into my veins.

Today I can look back and recognize that God was with me even in the darkest moments of my life.
I could easily have died from an overdose or been murdered in the streets because of my involvement in gangs.

In that environment, we often heard that a gang member’s fate was to die in the streets or spend the rest of his life in prison. I knew those consequences, but I had reached a point where I no longer cared what might happen to me

.

After getting out of prison, I thought:

“I’m not going to sleep. I’ll sleep when I get back to jail.”

I went in and out of different recovery programs. Deep down, I wanted to change my life, but for a long time that desire was only a thought. I never turned it into a real decision.

Until something began to change.

The last time I was in jail, I felt God working on my heart. I began to reflect on my life and realized I was playing Russian roulette with my future.

I knew that if I kept going down that path, my end was getting closer and closer.

At that time, I didn’t know much about the Word of God, but I understood that I needed a real change.

I finally arrived at a rehabilitation home in Winton, California, and that’s where a new chapter of my life began.

I came looking for help, but found so much more.

I found Jesus Christ.

Before, I could never stay in one place for very long, but there was something different about that church. I could feel the presence of God. I found fellowship and people who showed me a love I wasn’t used to receiving.

The brothers and sisters welcomed me with open arms.

For much of my life, I believed that if someone hugged me or did something nice for me, it was because they expected something in return. I always distrusted people's intentions.

But God began to change the way I thought.

Over time, I came to understand something much greater:

God was giving me my life back.

And not just the life I had lost, but a new and true life.

Today, I no longer need drugs or alcohol to feel good. My children are back in my life, and I can see God restoring parts of my life that seemed completely destroyed for years.



Many of the good things happening today aren’t the result of my efforts alone. I know God is moving the pieces and guiding my path.

Now I want God to be the one who directs my life.

Every day I try to seek Him and grow closer to Him.

If someone reading my story is trapped in drugs, alcohol, gangs, fear, pain, or despair, I want to tell them something:

No matter how far you’ve gone, there is still hope.

Do everything in your power to draw closer to God. Seek help. Let others reach out to you, and make the decision to change.

For years, I lived thinking there was no way out, but Jesus Christ showed me there was.

The enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus Christ came to give us life—and life to the full.

Today I can look back on my past and recognize where God brought me from.

I used to be lost in drugs, violence, gangs, and prison. Today, I’m living proof that God still restores lives.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

John 10:10

Moses Quesada